This needs to be shared

Living here is kind of interesting because there are a lot of things I can't do because I am a woman. I can't run or exercise outside for others to see (not that a would mind you). I can't wear shorts or short sleeves as that would draw attention to the too much attention I already get. I am not supposed to raise my voice in public or respond to any negative comments shebab (young men) may yell at me. The shebab where i live are not bad (I listen to my ipod as i walk so even if they are i am unaware of it) but some of my fellow volunteers get harassed on a daily basis. They get called donkey or bitch or just anything to get their attention and we are advised not to do anything about it. If we yell back it may become a safety issue. If we are grabbed we are advised to ignore it and then report it or ask around as to who the young boy is so we can tell his dad what he did.

As an American girl it is hard to let these things go. In America i would throw a punch or yell a long chain of swears. So as you can imagine when these things happen to me I get mad and it isn't entirely from what they are saying, it is mostly because I can't do or shouldn't do a damn thing about it. What makes me more mad is that Jordanian girls deal with it their entire lives and just ignore it. I don't know which is worse the fact that boys think that this is appropriate behavior or that girls don't do anything about it.

Not only do I think a good slap across the face would do a lot of the boys here good but I hope that the girl who finally does feels empowered or even a little better. More importantly I want the girl who has finally had enough harassment for ten life times to walk away and never feel scared or embarrassed or hurt by heckles again.

I know being harassed by men isn't just a Jordan thing and that it happens in America as well but doesn't that make it even more of a problem? What the heck is wrong with men who think that this behavior is acceptable or even funny? It is rude and sophomoric and you should know better than to treat another human being like this, woman or not. The more that "women's issues" are brought up in the press the more people need to realize that more often than not it isn't a "woman's issue" it is the man that has the issue, in that he needs a good kick in the balls.

Now to the point of my post i just got done reading this letter and I hope that it is a start to something. Men need to know that there a women who will not stand for this kind of behavior and we are going to let you know it! Calling things out to girls is not funny, rude, immature, and at times scary. Here is the letter. I hope you read and like it...

http://www.asafeworldforwomen.org/about/safe-world-blogs/noorjahan-akbar/3319-kabul-harasser.html

A Letter to My Harasser

By: Noorjahan Akbar - Afghanistan Correspondent for Safe World for Women

Hello sir,

I do not know your name, but you passed by me a week after Eid-ul-Fetr in the Bazaar in Kabul. You might remember me. I was the young woman wearing a white scarf and a long red embroidered tunic with dark pants. I was standing by a vegetable stand and bargaining the price of fresh mint when you passed me and nonchalantly pinched my bottom. I turned red. The old man who was selling vegetables noticed but didn’t say anything. He probably sees this every day. This had happened to me more than once, but this time I felt more embarrassed because the old man noticed.

I ran after you and grasped your wrist. Scared and sweating I started yelling. “Why did you do that? How dare you? Do you do this at home to your family members too?” and you started yelling back louder, “you crazy woman! I haven’t done anything. You are not worth doing anything to.”

 I was still ashamed to tell people what you had done. You probably remember how everyone was watching us. Other women advised me to keep calm that this would only ruin my reputation, but I wasn’t going to give up now. I started yelling. Soon the police arrived and took us both to the station.

A tall man in uniform asked me what had happened. I told him. You opened your mouth and the police officer yelled, “You, shut up!” Next thing I knew he was beating you. You were on the floor and he was kicking you with his gigantic shoes. Sweat was dripping off his thick eyebrows. He must have been as angry as I was.

I didn’t see you again, but the friend who was walking with you followed me all the way home. He told me, “what is the big deal?! It is not like he f***ked you.” But I was too tired for a second fight that day.

You and your friend probably both claim to be Muslims. You probably even pray at the mosque every Friday or more often. You probably tell your wives that they should not get out of the house because the world out there is filled with horrible men who will disgrace them. You probably even believe that you had a right to touching my bottom because you think a “good” woman would never be out on the streets without a man. Your sisters are “good.” They stay at home when you pressure them to. If I were a “good woman” I would do the same. These streets belong to men.

I am writing this letter to tell you that I never intended for you to get beaten and humiliated, but I am not sorry for speaking out. I am writing to tell you that I know what you are up to. You want to threaten me, scare me, and keep me shut at home where I will learn to tend to many children and cook food for your kind and be submissive to a man that might someday marry me. You want me to be terrified of the world outside and not find my way and my place in it. You want me to believe that the only safe and “decent” place for me is in the kitchen and the bedroom. But I am writing you to tell you that I am not buying that ever again. Not you, not the Taliban, not this government, not my brother or mother, nor anybody else can convince me that I am less than a man, that I cannot protect myself, that I cannot be what I want to, and that the best life for me is in a “safe” kitchen where a man or a mother-in-law has control over my every move. I am not buying that. Not ever again.

I will come out of the home every day and walk bravely down the streets of my city, not because I need to, but because I can and neither your harassment or sexual assault nor an oppressive government will ever be able to take that ability from me again.

With Defiance,

A Woman You Harassed

I Can Hold a Wet Bar of Soap Better Than a Conversation

Let's start with the important things... my pant situation is not looking good you guys. They are really super big. I look like I am dressed for a hillbilly picnic (what is even going on?).

In unrelated (or related?) news here are the people in my life...

This is Malek and me in Aqaba

Her sister Rand

This is easily the best picture of the trip because what is even going on? The woman in the purple hijab is my mudeera and the woman in the plack hijab is my landlords oldest daughter!

We visited a museum that only had female mannequins, which they so creatively turned into male mannequins with the help of a black marker. I thought this was hilarious so I jumped at the chance to take pictures with these guys! I imagine in my head that they got the shipment of mannequins and when they opened the boxes they realized they only got female ones and they didn't know what to do! So they sat there thinking for a minute and then one of the workers was like wait I got it! Then drew a mustache, beard, and thicker eyebrows on one of the them and the manager was like, eh good enough. (Probably not how it went but i like to imagine it went like this)

Some dudes playing some old instruments.

This is my 15 year old best friend Dana who is teaching how to crochet. She is pretty kick ass and she shares my love for Beyonce and sleep.

This is Aneghneem she also very awesome.

So those are the majority of people in my life right now.

My english classes are going strong (i think). Except we went over animals the other day in my beginner class and i spelled dolphin with and e (dolphine)... I am so done. I crossed it out and was like uh... don't spell it like that, awkward.

Arabic update: who knew Arabic was hard? slapped me right in the face! But seriously it is just going down hill from here, luckily it wasn't a very large hill but still! In arabic "Ana" is how you say I (this is the prep for the story). So I was walking down the street minding my own business when this young girl came up and was like LAURA LAURA! I was like hi! how are you? what is your name? to which she replies "Ana?" (I would just like to say that this is a deceitful question and she set me up for a let down. Who else would i be asking? We are the only two people here?) To which I said, "Oh Anna that is a cute name" (que me hitting my forehead with the palm of my head). She gave me a confusing look and said her name was Rania... I think we are going to be good friends. (she is 7)

The weather is getting hotter here and I am a little scared for summer because everyone here says "Oh yeah you are going to want to leave here during the summer, it is really hot". Guys, I am a sweaty person! It isn't cute I know this, and for the most part it can be kept at bay with extra strength mens deodorant  (although I have heard good things about secret as it is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman) and air conditioning... there is no air conditioning here. I will be very gross as I need to be covered when i go out, as in no t shirts or shorts. I won't blame people who don't talk to me during the summer months. There will be no hard feelings and I will see you again in the fall.

Then there was that time I got proposed to through a 20 year old girl... I was just sitting in my office minding my own business and this girl who speaks very good english comes and says "There is a man here in the village who would like to marry you. What do you think about this? Do you want to get married." To which I responded "No thank you." It was hard to turn down but me and this guy who i don't know and haven't seen had to go our separate ways. It wasn't me it was him. It was very romeo and juliet (although i think Romeo and Juliet could have handled there whole deal a little better) very romantic to say the least. 

Until next time!

XOXO

Laura

p.s. what is going on with Amanda Bynes? Maybe she can blame her twin from "She's the man" for this weird behavior... Surprise it is my twin Sebastian! We switched again!

Moon Pennies: you can buy funny but not a life

Today a girl told me my face looked good today... I thought hey cool I am looking good so I said oh thank you. Which she then replied "yea it doesn't have any acne, it is clear." Bring me up just to knock me back down why dontcha. I stopped talking to her. What i should have done was said "HEY! you try moving to a new country and not being able to speak the language and are fed things you are not so sure what are and keep your skin clear! I don't think so lady now take a hike!" Probably best i didn't.

However I had a pleasant english class where I read a paragraph and then they answered questions about it. The paragraph was about an old man who wakes up in the middle of the night and goes down to the basement and opens a trunk with the key around his neck. He then finds an envelope in the trunk and burns it. I asked what do you think was in an envelope. One girl said it was from his girlfriend! I was like he old as dirt, what you mean girlfriend? No didn't actually say that but i wish i had, damn! I asked why they thought he kept the key around his neck and if they thought his wife was suspicious of this key. This man really did not look good by the end, he has a secret girlfriend (at one point a boyfriend, a little lost in translation there) he lies to his wife about the key and is possibly not employed! However, they got a little mad when they asked for the answers and I didn't have any. At the end they were like "so what was in the envelope?" and i was like "um what?". We then played moon pennys. It was a pretty good class, not everyone talked but some did. I will take this as a win!

Laura 1
Jordan somewhere around 37ish

Another funny thing happened today, I was told in an email from a 16 year old girl to not be shy. She told me to come over whenever I wanted. How awesome is that?! Too funny. God love her. Only in Jordan does a 16 year old email you to tell you something your 80 year old neighbor would say. The only difference is the 16 year old will teach me bad words in arabic while the old lady would probably give me butterscotches (blech) and tell me about the good ole days. Although, the old lady might make pie so she has that going for her. I digress, this is the same girl who offered to do my grocery shopping because i got ripped off by the guy who sold me cheese. I almost said yes, but i have a conscience and i would never make a little girl do my grocery shopping for me.

But also that cheese guy sucks! Who rips someone off when they are buying cheese! I am silently protesting that dukkan because seriously dude?! Don't come between me and my cheese, i WILL give you nasty looks for 2 years believe you me! If you couldn't tell I am a little bitter.

Okay this post was just a bunch of rambling about my interactions with people. Nothing really new to report; my pants are still too big, my house is still too cold (but i now have a hot water bottle, thank you mom and day. So that is my new best friend), and I think i burned my blanket on the soba...

Soba 3
Laura 0

I also got a strange visit from a woman i didn't know and her daughter who i also didn't know and her son who i had met once. They came at 8 o'clock at night and wanted an english lesson for her son in my house. What kid wants a lesson at 8pm? Shouldn't you be thinking about going to bed, I know that is what i do around 8. I said no not here and when it is light out. I don't know if they understood but they went away. It definitely threw me for a loop.

ok I am done, I should have ended this a long time ago, i am sorry.

XOXO
Laura

OH also, the word for light is dow, the word for medicine is dewa, and the word for period (not the punctuation mark, yea the other period) is dowra... or you can speak like me and all three are period. Good times. Also was informed that there is a Real Housewives of Turkey... it is a crucial part of my stay here that i find season one and watch it immediately.

Bait hilu bait (home sweet home)

Here it is people, in all of its glory (or lack there of)... My house.

Here is my "living room" which is actually a large hallway because my actual living room (not pictured) is too big and if i put these things in it, it would just be ridiculous. Straight ahead is my bathroom (notice the dolphin shower curtain, it is all about the little details my friends). The door on the right is to my bedroom. The door on the left is to my kitchen and across from my kitchen is a guest room (also empty and not pictured).

This is my mini fridge with fruit and honey and whatnot on it.

This is my washing machine and dryer... got this as soon as i could. If I don't have to hand wash my clothes for two years, I won't!

This is across from the washing machine. The sink, stove, food, and dishes. Some things I would like to point out, the santa head band that keeps back my unruly hair on bad days, you can't see it but there is a neon orange "fruit" sticker on the last green tile on the right, the "types of pasta" apron, there is also a toy car and a santa snow globe to the left on the counter.

This is the left corner of my room. Laundry, guitar, etc. (messy, get over it)

Bed and books. My bed is the one with all the blankets on it... the other is for stuff. That orange rope is laundry line and that head checked item is the Jordanian Shmog, a traditional fashion accessory most commonly found on men over sixty. I just had to have one! (it brings out my eyes)

And the right corner of my room. Closet and drawers from clothing and some stuff i put on my wall. I don't want to brag but there is a copy of Twilight on that closet. I don't want to treat this like MTV cribs but I feel like I should because do you remember how awesome that show was? And how crazy Mariah Carey was when she got in her tub. I am not going to do that because it is cold in hurr, so I am keeping on all my clothes and then getting under some blankets.

You don't gotta go home but cha gotta get the hell outta here. (They always said that as they shut the gate in the camera's face)

XOXO

Laura

This is the view from outside the gates to my house... how does it feel to be an outsider looking in?

Flag (Couldn't think of a clever title for this)

Here is the Jordanian Flag

I may or may not have messed up the star on four birthday cards... sorry guys. Each color represents an Arab dynasty era. Black - Abbasid, White - Umayyad, Green - Fatimid, Red chevron - Hashemite dynasty. The seven pointed star represents the seven verses of the Islamic belief in the Qur'an.

My host sister's husband filled me in on an interesting fact... The green and white stripes used to be switched. I don't remember why haha (if anyone knows please enlighten all 3 of my readers). Short and sweet... there is the Jordanian flag. 

Where in the world is, Laura?

And now I have just gotten ahead of myself. I should probably tell you where in the world I am! When I started telling people the most common reaction I got was "That is so cool! Where is that exactly?". Although I am sure most of you have looked on a map to see I will let you know where I am anyway. Jordan is in the Middle East (mind blow!) and about the size of Indiana. Isn't is little and cute!

And is a muslim country...

It is surrounded by Syria, Iraq, Israel, and Saudi Arabia (you can sort of count Egypt if you want, I mean it is on this map). And then there is the dead sea! The lowest point on earth! Also on this map you will see it's capital Amman.

Jordan is separated into what are called governants (muHaadaDHa). There are 12 and they are as follows; Irbid, Al Mafraq, Ajlun, Jarash, Al Balqa (where I am!), Az Zarqa', Madaba (where I had my pre service training), Amman (different from Amman city, the capital), Al Karak, Al Tafilah, Aqaba, and Ma'an.

They are as culturally and climately (yea, that isn't a word but I think you get what I mean) different as the states back in the U.S. The closer you get to the dead sea the warmer it gets and the higher up in the mountains; Ajlun, Jarash, the colder it gets (makes sense, lower altitude = warmer, high altitude = colder). As for culturally, depending on where you are it can be very conservative (strict separation of boys and girls, what is allowed in public and in homes, what to wear, how to act, etc.). Other places are more liberal and the above is a little more relaxed. Amman the capital, is a whole other story. It is like the U.S. in Jordan. Almost everything in the U.S. is there but it tends to be a lot more expensive than any other place in Jordan.

XOXO

Laura

How a 23 year old learns how to write again, like a 5 year old.

Today is Friday, my day off. Seeing as it is my one day to myself, naturally, I have to go and visit with people. This isn't always the case, sometimes I get the day to myself. With all this time I have to myself I have been thinking about Jordan and that I haven't actually told you anything about this wonderful place that I have been living in for the past four months. I think the only appropriate place to start is the beginning. Let's begin with the alphabet, shall we?

This is it, in all of its glory. 28 letters and they all have three ways of writing them depending on if they come at the beginning, middle, or end of the word. Those dots above and below the words are called nukta (which if said in a slightly different way means "joke"). Arabic is read from right to left and there books open accordingly. I much prefer this picture of the alphabet...

All of these letters are connected into something that looks like this...

Typically people use just the diacritic dots (sometimes they don't). The vocalization marks are called harakat. They help you pronounce the words, the are the short vowels of arabic and they look like this.

How the letter 'ba' is pronounced with each harakat is on the bottom line of the picture. These are used in the Qur'an because the pronunciation needs to be specific and correct as it is the central religious text of Islam. However, in everyday life there are many accents of Arabic. Moroccan arabic is different from Jordan arabic which is different from Egyptian arabic. 'Keifik'(how are you) one places could be 'Keifich' another place. Whatever pronunciation is used you are always welcomed with a soft hand hold and a kiss to the right cheek and umpteen kisses (typically 3 where I live) to the right.

XOXO

Laura

Take my advice, I don't use it anyways

My mudeera and I talked about three classes I would teach before I even got here. 1. English – yikes, 2. Exercise – YIKES, 3. Drawing – ok I think I can do that? I only said yes to the exercise because I panicked and so much Arabic and what was going on?

For those of you who have never met me, I don’t really like exercise all that much. The only thing I hate more about exercise than actually doing it are those people who say they can’t get enough of it, they feel so good after a workout. The only thing I feel after a work out is gross and maybe a little like vomiting.

I am one of those people who my ideal diet would be having all the people I don’t want to talk to stand by all the foods that are bad for me. It always surprises me that there’s a fine line (a large football field) between “not dieting” and “eating half of every batch of brownies I make, the night they’re made.”  I am the girl who tells you “If anyone ever tells you you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.”

My main problem is I feel like either I’m supposed to be up at 5am having some sort of kale smoothie on my way to do yoga with orphans, or I might as well be sitting on my couch watching a Harry Potter marathon while eating ice cream straight from the tub. If I am not 100% in it why not just do the things I want to do?

But maybe this will be an awakening for me, where I recognize that maybe snickers aren’t something I can eat for dinner. Or send me on the right path where my daily multi vitamin isn’t the only thing standing between me and scurvy. Maybe this is the time where I stop telling myself that my baby fat is just getting pushed out by grown up fat.

Yes, I majored in physiology in college. Yes, I know all the things I am supposed to do to be healthy. Yes, the more I see those fun 10 minute work outs to flatter abs on pintrest the more I think I can do it. Do I do it? I have to start or else my exercise class will be like my English class… yikes.

I will let you know how it goes.

XOXO

Laura

P.s. this post wasn’t really that much about Jordan… but it is still true!

p.p.s. This is wikipedias definition of muffin top: A Muffin-top is the phenomenon of overhanging fat when it spills over the waistline of pants or skirts in a manner that resembles the top of a muffin spilling over its paper casing.Muffin tops are generally considered undesirable ^{[citation needed].  My favorite part about this is that they need a citation haha.}

An A for effort but still an actual F

Ross Geller enters the room: "hi" (you know the way he does when something hasn't gone his way)
Well that is how I feel. My first english class was today. Your internal voice must be saying "oh" in the tone that suggests maybe i just fell down some stairs. Well, I would have rather fallen down those stairs then had my class today.

So I had three different kinds of classes set up. A beginner (starting from the alphabet), an intermediate (Greetings and simple questions), and an advanced (discuss different topics). Today, I started with the beginner and soon came to realize they are much more advanced than I thought. I tried to move to the intermediate... that was too simple then I kind of winged it and just failed. My mudeera and the person helping me translate kept on intervening. The girls sometimes couldn't understand what I was saying, even the translator had problems. Some of the girls want more grammer and some want more speaking. Almost nothing was accomplished in the hour. At the end my mudeera said I needed to ask everyone's names and ages and what not before I started... that would have been good to know before I started... I wanted my first lesson to be about figuring out what they know and what they don't. Random things just got in the way.

My arabic (like I have said) wasn't good enough to understand slash answer their questions. My mudeera wanted me to write the words in arabic and in english and I was like uh I don't know how to do that. I felt like I over pre-prepared then got there and wasn't prepared at all! I feel like my mudeera knew how she wanted the classes to go but never told me.

I tried to teach them some phrases but I didn't know how to explain them... neither did my translator. They are somewhere in between knowing simple sentences and not understanding simple questions. Somewhere in between understanding a sentence but not a paragraph... where in this heck are they?

I don't know. Between not knowing the language and not knowing what they wanted to learn/me to teach I feel like I was set up to fail... and the worst part is I still don't know the language and I still have only the smallest idea of what they want to learn.

To add insult to injury they told me I should teach this with another volunteer whom they have met who has better arabic than me... that stung a little. (Only because they always make comments like oh the other volunteer would know that word and such... you can only laugh it off so many times). They make me feel like "sorry you got the lemon volunteer" which I know isn't true but I was kicked when I was down.

So after all that fun I spent 2.55 JD on cookies and wafer crackers. I know I shouldn't eat my feelings but as of right now all those pins on pintrest that say things like "you are not a dog don't reward yourself with food" or "what to look forward to: no muffin top" or "running is cheaper than that pint of ice cream" can go die in a hole. (Man these things are the worst... these sayings are like the girls who can pull off the messy and cute look, blech just get out of my sight). If I want to wipe crumbs out of my cleavage instead of sweat let me do it without you reminding me that I have a muffin top... let me make my poor decisions in silence! (sorry off topic).

I also bought these wafer crackers that I thought had a strawberry filling and then after I bought them looked at the picture and thought it was fig (yuck) but then tasted the cookies which then turned out to be hazelnut. Gah! Deceived by a wafer cracker!... so you know I will probably never trust again.

Ok guys till next time,
XOXO
Laura

p.s. If it isn't a duck outside my window waking me up at the crack of dawn it is a goat! Come on farm animals! Let a girl get her beauty rest... god knows i need it!

Oh Kristen the similar problems we share.

Do you think she woke up one morning and said: I think I'll go to Jordan today?

So you know how in the movies, a character makes exactly one decision, often an arbitrary one, and all of a sudden there’s an uplifting song and a montage of that character completely changing her life. In Legally Blonde, Elle buys a laptop, gets a montage that just involves carrying books and reading while on the StairMaster, and then, BOOM, awesome legal internship. In The Devil Wears Prada, Andy asks for a makeover, and then, BOOM, gets an awesome fashion montage and then magically starts killing it at her job. It’s no wonder I assumed that just living in Jordan I would learn the language (by osmosis? Wouldn’t that be cool!).*

During the day I fumble over speaking and pausing to think about what I’m saying while trying to pick out the words I know from the sentences that are being spoken at me to try and maybe make some connection. Most of the time they just give up and I feel defeated a little. One time I am pretty sure I got a “Aw she is cute when she tries.” Why can’t they love me for my mind and not my adorable looks! Where is Margot's lucky scrunchie when you need it (If it helped her pass spanish it can do anything!).

The one good thing out of not knowing the language and having people know you don’t really know the language is people just kind of let you be most of the time. So I can choose when I want to listen and when I don’t. I listen to try and see if I understand what is being said for about a half an hour then I have time to ponder life’s real questions. Do musicians have their own music on their iPod as their band name or is it just under ‘me’? Did Britney Spears ever find Amy?

In summary, dear chick flicks, you have ruined my expectations for everything and I hate you! However, if I ever find myself in a bunny costume at the apple store buying a computer and there is a Luke Wilson standing behind me it will make up for everything you have put me through. (You hear that cosmos or karma or whomever i need to speak to for this to happen! All will be forgotten...)

I start English tomorrow… I am sure it will be interesting!

*Yes this was my status but I thought it would also make a good blog entry… Double dipping is allowed! (my blog, my rules)

XOXO

Laura

Oh Elle, sometimes the bend and snap doesn't work everytime!

I am now a Salteen!

Hello my lovely beobles!! (peoples but with b's) So like i warned you in my first post I am terrible at keeping this thing up to date but now you get a giant rant on everything that has been happening in my life!

You might be wondering what the title of this post is all about... you might be thinking man did she go to jordan and become a saltine cracker? Or maybe a sal teen but i doubt you are thinking that because what does that even mean? Welp, I don't want you to be in suspense any longer! I am living in the governate of Balqa! The biggest city in Balqa is Salt. Some people say we are salty but i like salteen better because lets be honest, who doesn't love those crackers? mmmm with some peanut butter! so good.

A lot of people (aka my mom) have asked me "what is a day like for you?" what is a day in the life of super awesome laura (the super awesome wasn't necessary but i just want to remind you that it is true.)? I get up around 930 sometimes before that because my body just wakes up, another reason why i hate my body it does stupid things like wake up before i am ready to be up. I leave for work around 1030 stop by the falafel guy, buy ten falafel, and eat these falafel on my walk to work. I get to work around 1045, drink some tea sometimes, sometimes not. Chill there until 4. I used to just sit there and not know what was being said or what was going on but now i play badminton or work on english lessons while not knowing what is being said or what is going on. Guys incase you didn't know Arabic is HARD! Okay so from there i walk home maybe get a bebsi or two (bebsi is pepsi but they don't have the p sound... it is a fun game to play, exchange the p for a b, like lebrosy or bimble or buke. leprosy, pimple, and puke. see it's fun!) from the dukkan. I go home chill for 2 hours. Then visit my landlord for 2 hours and am home by 8 to watch shows, movies, read, be online.

One important part of the culture is visiting people. I go to my landlords most nights but sometimes (aka  once so far) I went to another home for dinner. Guys, they feed me like I am a line backer. They think i am on the michael phelps diet. Seriously to the point where i have this internal dialogue of "just breathe, you can do this. Don't puke. DON'T YOU PUKE! Oh god this is how I am going to die." So I am stuffed by the end. But also, i don't know why people want me over i am seriously the worst house guest. I come over don't really say much (because i don't know how). We stare at each other a little and then i eat your food... Worst. House. Guest. Ever. But they still want me to come back and chill. Maybe they like my face i don't know, it certainly isn't for my personality.

As the weather gets colder here they have this fun tradition of wearing matching track suits and chilling inside next to the heater (soba). You have not lived until you have been stared at by a tiny child in a track suit. Track suits are a BIG things here and sometimes they say things that make absolutely no sense. Like my friends host sister had one that was brown and then just said "cake" across the chest. Another thing that is fun here is that they have notebooks that have weird english sayings that are clearly not translated well at all. For example one said, "handsome is as handsome does" or another had a half unzipped jean jacket and in the unzipped part a naked baby on a blue satin sheet. I wonder what goes through the mind of the person who  makes those. Like, "this notebook is missing something... i know! a naked baby on a satin sheet!" EUREKA! Mad funny.

If you have been on facebook, my facebook to be exactly, you will have seen picture of me and this metal box with eyes. This box is a soba, it is my heater, we have no heat besides this heater. So I may have put eyes on my soba and am now calling it sobot (fun fact: sobot is the plural of soba). I liked it because it is like robot but also soba... it's fun. But someday I will need the gas guy to change the gas canister and i can only imagine what he will say... i will let you guys know. Also i was trying to dry my underwear (no dryers) on my soba... yea they burned a little, whoops.

welp you guys i think that is it. I don't know what else to talk about. I love and miss you all.

xoxo
Laura

p.s. I want to steal the baby goat that lives in my backyard. Will update you on this progress.

This is a picture of a saltine cracker...