Here is a song to listen to while you think about how much you miss me... You're welcome

Just let the waterworks flow... let it all out

XOXO
Laura

Packing... is this real life?

Welp that time has come where I NEED to pack... I have put this off because I honestly, strongly dislike packing. I always pack too much and then forget the important things. For example I will pack my stuffed animal but then forget my cell phone charger, underwear, or ehem feminine products (EEEWWW... that was for my male readers... all 1 of you! Thank you Mr. Keane). So instead of actually packing I am writing about packing...

Focusing back on my packing efforts. I have too much crap!!

Here is my bed... 

I think I have made my point. I need to put them into a camping backpack and a rolling duffle and a carry on. Unless you have tried to pack for two years of your life, I don't EVER want to hear you complain about packing because you don't know the meaning of packing.

Welp, that is my packing post. To close this I would like to add a suggested packing list from one of the current Jordan peace corps volunteer.

Packing list (girls, will be a little different for boys) Bags 1 Backpacking bag 1 Camera/electronics bag 1 Rolling duffel bag 1 Purse 1 School bag 4 Luggage locks Clothes Accessories - 1 Gloves - 1 Watch - 1 Winter hat Bottoms - 4 Casual pants  - 3 Dress pants - 1 Leggings - 3 Long skirts - 1 Sports pants (exercise/pajamas) - 2 Sports shorts (exercise/pajamas/swimwear) Outerwear - 2 Cardigans - 1 Fleece coat - 1 Rain jacket - 2 Sweaters Shoes - 2 Dress shoes - 1 Flip flops - 1 Hiking boot (I did not bring a pair and I wish I did, but you can have them shipped if you do not have room because you will probably not need them during training) - 1 Rain/Snow boot (there may be no need if your hiking boots are waterproof) - 1 Running shoe - 1 Sturdy sandal (Chacos, Tevas, etc.) Socks - 5 Dress - 3 Heavy wool - 2 Hiking - 2 Long - 5 Regular (black is better than white) Tops - 2 Polo shirts - 3 Short-sleeved dress shirts - 2 Long-sleeved dress shirts - 1 Tunic - 5 Shirts Underwear - Bras - 2 Long-sleeved shirts - 2 Long underwear bottom 1 Light 1 Medium - 2 Long underwear top  1 Light 1 Medium - 4 Tank tops 2 Pajamas 2 Undershirts - Underwear Electronics Canon 5D Mark II DSLR with lens (this is obviously optional, you can replace this with other art supplies, a musical instrument, more clothes, etc.) - 1 Extra battery - 2 Memory cards - 1 Microphone - 1 Microphone mount - 1 Tripod Canon Powershot S95 - 1 Extra battery - 2 Memory cards Headphones MacBook Pro - 1 Extra battery - 1 Extra adapter 2 Western Digital Hard Drives (you can bring one, but I’m obsessed with backing up) - 1 2TB Desktop - 1 2TB Portable Toiletries Chap sticks (no need to bring a lot, you can easily find them in Jordan) Cosmetics (I did not include this for myself because I do not wear make-up) 4 Deodorant sticks Earplugs Eyewear - Contacts - 2 Eyeglasses - 1 Sunglasses Lunapads Medication 2 Nail clippers Q-tips (no need to bring a lot, you can easily find them in Jordan) 1 Razor - 4 Extra razor blades 2 Shampoo bottles 1 Sunscreen bottle (lotion will be provided by medical, but I prefer the spray) Tissues (no need to bring a lot, you can easily find them in Jordan) Toilet paper (no need to bring a lot, you can easily find them in Jordan) 1 Toothbrush - 4 Extra toothbrush heads 2 Toothpaste tubes (no need to bring a lot, you can easily find them in Jordan) 4 Towels - 1 Body - 1 Face - 1 Hair - 1 Hand 2 Vaseline jars (no need to bring a lot, you can easily find them in Jordan) Personal Arabic language materials - Books - Flashcards (can be very difficult to find in Jordan) Batteries - 3 AAA Books 4 Compression bags Credit card Debit card Driver’s license DVD case DVDs Envelopes Eye mask 2 File folders (you will receive a lot of paperwork) Flashlight (small for travel, Peace Corps will give you a big one later) Host family gift 2 Notebooks Passport photos Pens 1 Pepper spray Personal passport Pillow 2 Plug adapters Pocketknife Small sewing kit Sleeping bag (32F/0C degree) Stamps Surge protector Wallet Water bottle Zip lock bags - Sandwich - Gallon Oh and I had to buy almost all new clothes...

XOXO

Laura

Well this is awkward...

So If you haven't heard me say this before (which is weird because I say it a lot because it is the truth)... my life is a joke to society. My life is just a series of awkward moments strung together by times when my awkwardness isn't witnessed. To be honest I didn't think a post about how awkward I am would come until I was in Jordan. But since it is here and I am writing it I might as well just get it out of the way. Now sit down (you probably are because who reads there computer standing up?) and get a snack and I will give you a glimpse into just why my life is awkward.

Pretty much I live my life with 100% confidence that I will say or do the most awkward things. When I feel awkward I loose the ability to function like a normal human being. I laugh like an idiot, loose the ability to speak normally, etc. It gets even worse if I like you, like you because then I just don't talk to you at all. I like to take the "I like you don't talk to me" approach. Which, if you were wondering, never goes over too well. But I digress, here is an example of my awkwardness. One time I had to get a magazine at the library and it was on the bottom shelf near a desk and at that desk was a girl who I kind of knew but not really and when she turned around I panicked and then shakily, whispered "hey" then turned around and walked away very fast. (funny side note about this story: one time I was telling it and this one woman was like "you hissed at her?". When I was reenacting the story and said the awkward hey I guess she thought I hissed, I don't know.) So now we are all on the same page about my awkward life. In the end all I want is to live out a normal life where my child isn't anything like honey boo boo, is that too much to ask??

So if you read my first post (if you didn't go back and read it, there is a cute puppy at the end) I talked about how awful goodbyes are and blah, blah, blah. Welp that was premature because I saw all those people pretty much the next day. It was like when you are walking with a friend and you think you are going to split off to go in your respective directions so you say bye and then you both continue in the same direction. It's like I said bye but you are still here and then you panic a little and are unsure of what to do so then you laugh and idon'tknowwherei'mgoingwiththissentence... but I hope you get my gist. So pretty much I have said bye to people like five times because I don't want to not say bye. Watch me not say goodbye one time and that is the last time I will see them... that would suck. But when I said bye the first time I was so dramatic about it I was like "bye see you in two years... maybe" and "I am leaving is that really that last thing you want to say to me?!" which, made things a little worse. So yea that was awkward.

Anyways, Thank you for putting up with my awkwardness and this awkward post. Kbailoveyoumeanit!

XOXO (possibly gossip girl this time)

Laura

This is a visual interpretation of my awkwardness

Goodbyes Suck Big Hairy Balls

To be honest I didn’t want to start a blog. One, because what is more cliché than a twenty something year old kid making a blog about going to a far off land and sharing tales of how much they have learned, and grown, and become one with who they truly are, and all that BS? Two, because I feel it is like a diary. You know when you were ten and you said to yourself “I am going to write down my thoughts every night and it will be eloquent, funny, and profound” and then you write in it for one day and when you read it the next you are like “WTF, this doesn't read as well as it sounded in my head” so you don’t write in it anymore. Three, because I am a terrible writer. I write the way I think, which means it is gobbledygook (spelling?... I think I made my point right here).

So, if I have all these reasons to not write a blog you are probably wondering why you are sitting here reading my blog (that is, if you have even gotten this far… if you bailed I accept it and I am already moving on emotionally). My answer is simple… I just have a lot of feelings. But also my friend Ellen (this is a shout out) told me I should. But don't get me wrong I don't just do things because she tells me to... I am my own woman and I do what I want okay?! 

And by that, I mean what the title of this post is about. Goodbyes… I am terrible at goodbyes (who is good at goodbyes anyways?). In all seriousness though, goodbyes are THE WORST! There are the goodbyes you say to your family and close friends that are hard because you can’t imagine the next two years of your life not talking to them or seeing them all the time. You know some things will change but when you come back you can fall back into your spot. But then there are the goodbyes to new friends and the scariest thing about those goodbyes are the uncertainty of what comes next. Wanting to stay in touch but knowing how hard that is. Life happens and being so far away makes talking about your lives hard and tedious. It is scary because  everyone is growing and changing but not growing and changing together.  How do you keep someone in your life from 6,000 miles away? (that was deep… I’ll stop being such a drama queen and get to the point.)

My point is I had to start saying goodbye to people today because even though I don’t leave for a while I may not see them again before I leave. This was, to say the least, sad. I feel like I ran out of time before I even got started. From my BOCO family who I had to say goodbye to many months ago, to my SHH family who I am only beginning to say goodbye to, to my Dtown family; saying goodbye to you all will suck so just bare with me through the awkward hugs and goofy waves goodbye. You all make up my dysfunctional, amazing family and I thank you for putting up with me over the past few months.

Before I start actually believing I am Ginger from “As told by Ginger” or that chick from “Awkward” and thinking I am good at blogging/ journaling (diarying?... please read that word aloud hehe) and getting real deep on yo asses… to paraphrase this entry KEEP IN TOUCH PLEASE!! Comment here, email me laura72689@gmail.com, attempt skyping, send a smoke signal, a facebook message. Seriously anything because if I sent you the link to my ramblings I love ya and want you to love me back. 

Oh and there may be a video post or two because my other friend Marissa (this is another shout out) told me I should. But once again I do what I want... so I will do the video posts but you won't know when they are coming.

XOXO (no this isn't gossip girl)
Laura

This is a picture of an adorable puppy wrapped in a blanket (not in Jordan)